Keeping Christmas in Perspective
Throughout the years we enjoyed the privilege of being parents to 17 wonderful children. Technically we were called foster parents, but we never saw our role as anything less than full parents. These children would teach us many life's lessons that would reshape our view of the world.
It was the Christmas of 1984. Three sisters had joined our family for the Fall and Winter. They had come from an abusive home. Their mother had recently been placed in a psychiatric hospital, their dad worked more than 50 miles away meaning long commutes, and their older brother had been experimenting in a far too personal way with the youngest.
Aged between six and ten they were very close, as the situation had helped them form a strong bond from experience. The oldest was the leader and looked out for her younger sisters.
As Christmas approached she decided to confide her thoughts in a letter to Santa Claus. Sealed in an envelope she gave it to my wife to mail.
Thinking this would provide great insight to making Christmas special for these girls, the letter was opened. Tears soon flowed.
"Dear Santa, I am not sure why I am writing you this year. You always bring toys. I don't want toys. All I want is my family to be happy again."
Wow! What a sobering thought. Looking at our tree in a sea of colorful wrapped packages the commercialization of Christmas now seemed so wrong and hollow. We realized there are children with real problems, real concerns, and real dreams that did not rely on the toys we automatically think are the key to every child's happiness.
This lesson was exemplified years later when we would work on developing a Christmas program for underprivileged families. The Christmas lists we received from children often contained items like a new coat for walking to school or light bulbs so they could read to do their homework at night.
We are now in the last two days before Christmas. Don't feel guilty about the celebration you already have planned. Just remember this true story and figure out a way to give to someone else in some unexpected way.
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Rick, you have a wonderful perspective and considerable insite regarding what really matters. Again, nicely put!
This post sparked a memory of my own. I once had the privilege of working with a particular Post Office 'Dear Santa' program. On top of the similar letters like the one you describe, one of my most memorable ones went something like, "Dear Santa, I have been good but I don't want anything. Mom doesn't have much. Please bring food to my baby brother even though he cries alot."
When you work those kinds of programs long enough you quickly find there are many adults disguised as children. Too many children have taken it upon themselves to make 'adult' lists and requests. Out of the 100 or so letters I read, I would estimate that 30-40% were requests for essentials, and not toys.
Every year when I make my list, I am reminded of this little girl who I've never met but her lesson/gift to me is one of the lasting impacts on my life.
WOW - This is a great post Rick! I just posted something along the SAME lines and did not even read this one yet - Now that I am reading it we obviously think alike or should I say the little girl and I think alike... this is sad and yet beautiful all in one. Kid's truly see what we have forgotten that have been hidden deep within us